it's the last Monday of the "Sawan Somvars" and the temple near our house is scintillating with colourful lights and lamps..and in fact it's not just the lights but the sound too seems to travel at equal speeds..the sound billowing out of loudspeakers, lashing out at unimaginable decibels actually seems to reach God quite conviniently, screeching the ordinary ears of human beings..interestingly the only thing to laugh off was the tunes on which the bhajans were being played..the famous tunes of "Pankh hote toh udd aati re..." from the movy Sehra and "tutak tutak..." picturised on i guess Neelam?? a movy buff like me can only think of Sandhya in her famous dance moves when i hear the tune..anyways, but i seriously think we really need to do something about the relentless rise in noise pollution..

kids, who come to play in the nearby garden even during the exams, are giving a scared expression on their faces..maybe they're wondering why the people from the surrounding residential area haven't turned up to shoo away the people (like they always do with them) making these screeching sounds at such ungodly hours....probably the kids are seeing the same people adding to the racket... n so they have turned to some peaceful place to frolic around..hopefully the noise would disappear when they return home...

my previous post and the responses it gathered, egged me on to post some insights regarding the facts of being balanced and at the same time being creative..

our creative geniuses like Eienstien, Shakespear and others were highly balanced individuals!!

Eienstien himself stated once -

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving”..and it was this attitude of his of always being on the move to keep his BALANCE working, that made him what he's known for..

in a management training program called "a balanced mind" that i was a part of, it was taught that a fully active and balanced brain adds energy and creativity to the individual, which is a necessary ingridient of a successful leader and that only a balanced mind can think of some creative or rational solution to a given problem.

Beware or you might fall!

Life makes us encounter many crossroads, all bevy with carrots dangling to attract the traveller. And overloaded with extreme emotions, we might choose the wrong way. But there's a saviour, a solution which disentangles the confusion of choosing the right path.. and that according to me is BALANCE. It is what we lose to gain nothing and what we gain to lose nothing..We all are leading our lives in different ways but one thing is shaping our lives consistently in a particularly distructive manner; and that is IMBALANCE..

We all must strive to maintain an equilibrium..because it is actually the elixir of our lives, the guru-mantra for dematerialising all our pains..

Some, like my husband Sanskar, have it by birth...he has the capability to keep his cool in even extreme situations and doesn't let the situation hang his head in sorrow...I am learning this art from him...as most of the time in life we need to shed our egos, deal with our anger and project a calm and composed self to the society..It's bad to lose our temper and suffer drastic consequences. .It's better to deal with it and choose a greener life instead..

आज यू लगा कि जैसे सर के बल खड़े होकर दुनिया देख रही हू...इतने दिनों से जो तेज़ धूप ने कमरे की खिड़कियाँ बंद करने को मजबूर कर रखा था आज उसी धूप ने मानो दुनिया देखने का नजरिया बदलने की ठान रखी हो...सूखी ज़मीं पर बूंदे पहले भी गिरी है, मगर आज बूंदे गिरते ही ज़मीं नहीं मुस्कुरायी...पहले एक, फिर दो, फिर कई सारी बूंदों ने मिलकर ज़मीं को मनाने कि बहुत कोशिश की..पर ज़मीन थी की मुस्कुराई तक नहीं...शायद इस बार तेज़ धूप ने जो तबाही मचाई थी, उन चंद बूंदों की मनुहार से धरती कहाँ मानने वाली थी....धूप भी क्या करती, उपर से आये हुक्म की तामील जो करनी थी...

वो खुशबू आज भी मन में समाई है, जो पहली बारीश की बूंदे मेरे कमरे की खिड़की पर दस्तक देकर बिखेर जाती थी....फिर मानो इशारे से छत पर बुलाया करती ...माँ की रसोई के लिए बिखरे पापड़ जो छत पर सूखा करते थे, वो तक जलने के बजाय, भीगना ज्यादा पसंद करते ...इसीलिए मैं उन्हें समेटती नहीं... युही रखे रहने देती...माँ जल्दी-जल्दी सीढियां चढ़ती, चिल्लाते हुए की "अरे पापड़ समेटे या नहीं?? कपडे फिर गीले हो जाएँगे...सब समेट कर नीचे ले आ"...नीचे तोः मैं ले आती सब समेट कर, मगर उस समेटे हुए सामान में, पहली बारिश की ख़ुशी और माँ की प्यारी सी डांट को न मानने की शरारत छुपी होती थी...

आज माँ से फ़ोन पर बात करुँगी, कहूँगी की माँ मैं जल्दी तुझसे मिलने आउंगी, तोः शायद प्यासी धरती मान जाये और फिर उसी खुश्बू के साथ सबको महका दे....

my birthday present...

There are a few things money can't buy and for every such thing there's love, dedication and hard work! My this year's birthday present was an amalgamation of all these...My sister sketched in a lovely collage of sorts, me in my different states of childhood and youth...a simple white piece of cloth was transformed into a metaphor for the days i spent in my maiden home, with mom, dad, cha n sonia...the time frozen on this piece is a special one for me...



the wrapper doodled by her with a lovely piece of thought...


hand-made accessories again gifted by Sonia...


a sweet greeting card telling me how grilling and torturing it was for her to be in the Que of the shop to buy the card for me n funnily she says in the end that she had to steal it...:)

Thanks sis for the cutest gift ever!

me with my Grandmother-in-law....

Today on the occasion of Gangaur, i tried designing a mehandi on my left hand as the professional designers were busy with overwhelming appointments in their parlour....everyone in the family liked what i decorated my hand with.... i stole the moment of completion of my design to pride myslef on my instinctive creativity inherited by my Grandmom and Mom and the contagious talent droped religuously on me by the presence of my super-creative sis...i just said to myslef - "itana toh mere khoon main hi hain..."..and i stuck my nose up in the air...:)


my right hand flaunted the innocent doodling of my sweet li'l sister-in-law Sakshi...she very fondly wrote "S8" and "SA" for the first alphabets of the members of the family and "SA" for "Sonia and Abhinav"...how thoughtful and cute!

me before the pooja...

Super Saas!!

Hails to my Super-Saas, the Saas of all Saasus, who in spite of being bed-ridden, still manages to sway generations with the commandment in her voice..with an oxygen cylinder always beside her bed, no body can dare to loaf around her or else he or she is in for a good rebuke...

i sincerely salute her efforts in keeping a home the way it should be...it's a rare view to see joint families in the society these days and making the people residing in it stick together is even more arduous..But my Daadi-Saas is the glue that has kept the people of the family together..and the sceret behind her energy and alertness is the very strong will that resides in her 24 X 7, to see her people together..she uses her experiences to solve problems, not only of the family but even of the outiders..

in most of the houses these days we see old people vying for attention but her authority is such that she's never alone..people want to be with her, look after her, because everyone, including the kids understand that she's the wizard, the centripetal-force that attracts discipline and togetherness in the family..

i hope this force exists in all the families, joint or nulclear...

I remember the days when Sonia n I as kids used to await dusshera holidays with a lot of enthusiasm..there was a defiant sense of victory that surged through our veins to see the huge effigy of Ravana being burnt to ashes with other two effigies of Meghanath and Kumbakarna being set aflame by the actor dressed as Rama, by shooting an arrow into Ravan's navel. It was so much fun! when we couldn’t see the Ravana in the crowd due to our short heights, our Chacha, whom we’re very fond of, used to help us climb any nearby ‘thela’ (handcart) so that we could see the huge idol with big moustaches stand with false pride at the centre of the ‘maidaan’ (ground), with his other two aides..sonia used to ask me with her innocent expressions, “didi Ram kab marega Ravana ko?” (when will Rama kill Ravan?)..

Then, there was just a naïve fear of whether Ram would be able to kill Ravan or not..though every grown-up knew that it’s just a celebration n it will happen the way it is supposed to be..but quite paradoxically, as we grew up, we realized that the fear has only grown..and mercilessly..

It has intruded on every individual’s life and taken the ugly face of terrorism time and again..just like the fierce Ravan reappears every year representing the evil, the innumerable Ravanas, roaming around the streets, hiding behind the camouflage of being a common man, waiting for the massacre with their life-hungry eyes and ogling at the unseen havoc they want to target..their living takes to death and they die taking lives..what do they get?..probably ‘nirvana’ or whatever they’re being taught in the so-called secular schools where probably one of the teachings asks to take pride in being a terrorist..

Public gatherings today are best avoided as they are the hot-spots for terror-strikes..dushhera today is just another cyclic-celebration of the Hindu calendar..in today’s terror-tainted times, the festival seems to have lost its relevance somewhere down the alley of time..this also reminds me of Neeraj Pandey’s thriller ‘A Wednesday’ I saw a few days back..where a common man challenges the law and targets the jailed ‘jihadis' and the pulverised Mumbai cops who seem to be on bended knees when it comes to an effective counter-terror policy..i think this is what every common man will take to, once the tolerance level exceeds its decent limits..
Even if we dare to step out of our homes to satisfy our desire of being a part of this festive season and see how the city is performing the ritual, all we could see is the faces with tense expressions and celebrations wrought with anxiety…hats off to those spirited ones who without caring a damn, zestfully make the effigies and welcome the festivals in an aboriginal style..
Two of my very dear friends, celebrated this dusshera somewhat like this to compensate for their absence in India..:)

hahahaha...

On this Friendship day....

i finally bid goodbye to Mumbai…I never liked the city..i hated the humidity, the crowd, the incessant chasing of dreams by thirsty souls…quite paradoxically, this place has taken a lot out of me but has yet given me so much..there is a certain bond that I developed with this place in just a few months. I feel desolated to leave it..i left my friends and family behind in Indore (especially my mom..i have never stayed away from her for so long..) to make it big in Bombay..but I am not going empty handed..i succeeded in making even a bigger bond of friendship nevertheless, with some amazing people here..life has come a full circle for me…:)

Divya, earlier a FOAF, now, an extremely good friend of mine, has been an inspiration..her talent of dealing with people and the power of convincing others is worth watching..i somehow have a lot of ego hassles which come in my way of handling individuals..good I didn’t become a Human Resource Manager or something…big beal! Anyways, I’ll miss her a lot and i’ll miss her scolding while stopping me from buying nonsense stuff for myself ..juz like my mom.. she knows better what looks good on me..it rarely happens that I strike a chord with someone in such a short time…with all the potential to become a good director, I wish her all d luck in life..

Anant sir…ahem…my senior in EMRC and now a director and finally a friend.. Short-tempered..(I am scared of him on the sets as he’s totally a different person there)…but I’ll miss him for he’s always been very caring towards me..gave me work wen I was searching for some…I gave many auditions, but did not get any response..chote-level per hi sahi, but he kick-started my career..i’ll always be thankful to him for that and who knows maybe if I become a big star tomorrow, then maybe I can consider thanking him in one of my Oscar acceptance speeches!..:)..:)..i’ll also miss his cute habit of miss pronouncing certain words like calling one of the assistants “Santose” (in stead of “Santosh”)..n shouting his name like that without realizing it while walking across the sets..

i'll miss these guys..

that apart, I promise to myself that this is not the end of the road..i am not leaving my career and no way I am giving up..this beginning will continue without a break..:)

STRONGEST OF TRANCES

The strongest of trances
Is the fascination of your charms,
The only fantasy I have is
Finding recluse in your arms

The fear of loneliness
Has faded in obscurity
The joy of togetherness
Is drizzling with purity

Now you n I have come so close
What heart can feel
Through eyes it flows

If destiny has chosen
To bring us together
The destiny will see us
Being so forever

Let’s hear what they say,
The beatings of our heart;
They say we’ll be this way
Till death do us apart..

THE SECRET..

http://www.thesecret.tv/

I think I am coming very close to knowing ‘the secret’..knowing it in the real sense..it’s one thing to read or just listen to it and admire…but it’s another to actually follow it..

If you know what ‘the secret’ is, (if u’ve gone through the link, u wld knw what I am talking about) there are chances that you too are in the same turmoil of uneasy thoughts as many others, where you sometimes just can’t help but attract negative emotions to yourself, only to later regret it..but I guess it is a matter of practice..because if u know what exactly the secret is, you will also try to know how to follow it.. i am following it and I think it works!

Just to give u an example, sometime back, one of dad’s colleagues (Geeta Mohan mam, who now is a very special person of my life and a lady I admire a lot), whom I went to meet for my research work, gave me the CD of the film…after a few days of seeing the film, when I went back to return the CD to her, I just happened to tell her that I am going to my hometown for sometime to celebrate my birthday n my mom n dad’s marriage anniversary too. Hearing that she said I’ll give you something as a gift for ur birthday. She got up and promptly took out a small murti of Gautam Buddha and handed it to me…she said this will bring you a lot of luck and happiness..the moment I took that murti in my hands, I felt very happy and greatful..i don’t know, it just appeared to me that this small murti is actually going to bring a lot of luck and happiness to my life…maybe it was because of the impact of the film I saw just a few days back…n I thought maybe this feeling will disappear after sometime…but it didn’t…i kept feeling happy for just about everything i came across and in just two days an extremely beautiful thing happened to my life…actually, LIFE itself happened to me!!..i met the man of my life…:)

But it’s even more fulfilling if u make it an on-going process…u’ve to keep practicing it to paint a colorful rainbow on this empty canvas of life..

Yes, the Law of Attraction works..only if u know how to make it work!!!

(Special thanks to my sis who keeps me awakened throughout this journey of following the law)

A feminine look to a life gives you a clear picture – a happy family, a beautiful partner and a well-settled life.. a masculine look stresses on the ‘MORE’ syndrome - nothing is enough.. life’s always tough that ways…

but when it comes to decision making, I go with the feminine approach towards life..maybe because that comes naturally to me..not that girls are not tougher than the boys..but they are more emotionally charged…maybe that is why when it came to me for making a life changing decision, I took the plunge with an effervescent ‘yes’, when asked to make a choice between a beautiful family life and a career life studded with professional barnburners…
I trust God and I know He’s given much more than what I had asked for..I am happy with my decision; on cloud nine..:)

Encore for AN..

dude!! this is amazing!! our docu, AN (Adrashya Nari) bags another Best documentary award in Filmsaaz '08!!

check out the link - http://www.filmsaaz08.com/

THREE CHEERS TO THE "INVISIBLE WOMAN" TEAM...HIP HIP HURRAY!! x3

MY DAD WITH mR. AMIR KHAN..:)

When i told some people that i am planning to direct a film, they laughed it out saying "you're so shy and direction needs a certain smartness that you lack. you better give up the idea. it's not your cup of tea." But there were some real gems around who supported my idea and promised to join me in my project and my maiden effort of making an independent documentary as a director. with their blessings and support i addressed the root cause of so many major problems that India is facing today - lack of women education and empowerment. the true story of the girls of a village in Madhya Pradesh inspired me to work on the concept and after a heart-wrenching experience of a 5 day stay with the girls, i came to know many shocking incidences that still pervades the country - female foeticide being the most terrible one. i NEVER EVER imagined even in my dreams that just a few kilometers away from my home, where i live a life like a princess, there could be a place where girls are toyed with and are sexually objectified and some are even not allowed to step into this beautiful world!! we have read this, heard about it, but i witnessed it through the innocent and tell tale eyes of the girls of Narlay..



And the fact that how beautifully the efforts of one man is stopping these cruelties gradually, is a subject of not just admiration but a subject which stirs the soul to wake up to this reality and contribute.



i salute the efforts of the man and my team, ESPECIALLY MY LIL SWEETHEART, MY SIS, for her support and for getting me all the applause and a tear-jerking response of an emotionally charged audience on some scenes in the film, when it was shown in the 16isto9 International Film Festival. the festival saw the entries from the countries like US, UK, Cannada, China, Egypt and Sweden. From India there were entries from around 150 colleges. My film titled "Adrashya Nari" (Invisible Woman), got Silver for the Best Documentary (non-fiction) film. It was a star-studded event and the evening of the final day saw the presence of superstar Amir Khan giving away the awards. My dad received the award on my behalf as i could not attend the function due to my mom's ill-health. But the pleasure to have my dad receive the award was more than what i could have got if i was there on the stage.

It was an evening i'll always remember..:)

Wo subah kabhi to aayegi…..

Wo subah kabhi to aayegi…..

I dedicate the song to the lawmakers, lawbreakers and the beneficiaries of the entire tamasha. The tamasha of instant justice, mob lynch or vigilantism. Wouldn’t it be right for these people to take a break from their respective professions and go for a walk? They aren’t doing their work anyways. Instead they are more concerned about filling each others’ shoes. People of all professions – teachers, doctors, students - are turning into lawmakers..they make their own laws and implement them in their unique ways; the original lawmakers are sleeping and thanks to the delayed justice, the people who should actually be sleeping, leaving everything in the hands of law and trusting it, are losing their sleep. Hail democracy!

Consider this –

Two people quarreled over using a cellphone a couple of days back, and in a fit of rage, the one named Ravi, stabbed the other several times. Locals rushed the injured person to the hospital, but he succumbed to his injuries midway. Ravi was caught and assaulted by his neighbours before being handed over to the policemen, who took him to hospital for treatment. Later a crowd reached the hospital, roped his neck and dragged him out to the road where he was beaten black and blue. Even as a handcuffed Ravi twisted and turned in vain and writhed in pain, the cops, batons in their hand and rifles on their shoulders, remained mute spectators.

(Source: Sunday Times, 24th Feb’08)


Instead of hitting the accused, wouldn’t it be a better idea to strip such policemen, for whom their work is everything but worship, off their uniforms in public? Because of such people, the entire police force is being accused of inactivity.

God forbid, if this tamasha continues, we wouldn’t need to buy tickets for some Ram Gopal Verma flick, as then we could see the real life villains getting roughed up by our local heroes right in front of our homes, until we find out that the person being beaten to death is our own daughter or brother and then we would find no law to ask for help. We will have to find our own ways of getting justice by the mob, of the mob and for the mob.

Arre wo subaha kabhi to aayegi jab ham hamare hi desh ka tamasha banne se rok sakenge.

Super-mom!!

Being a housewife is super-challenging. It’s not only about cooking and looking after the (super) kids but it’s a total house management, a job without a salary. Hats off to my mom who makes things look so simple. She’s not keeping well since last many days. And so I am kinda managing the house; something she’s been doing since last 29 years. But I guess what keeps her ticking is the love we kids we give to her and in return what we get is some thing beyond boundaries. Something that only motherhood can do to you. Just a smile on her kids’ faces makes her day and a tear in their eye gives her sleepless nights. Even on the hospital bed, my mom was more worried about whether I am taking my meals on time or not. That’s what being a mother is all about I guess. I’ll understand it better when I become one.

while flipping through the pages of a magzine i came across a very interesting fact. here's quoting it for u...

"i almost walked into a web, in the centre of which sat the Black Widow, actually our Indian version of it, the Gaint Wood spider that kills its tiny mate, after they have mated, interesting that, the male, nothing more than a disposable sperm. The Gaint Wood spider is a radical feministt, (Sneha says - so untrue!It's juz vice versa.yeah, u got it - the writer was a male.),the proverbial Black Widow devouring up its mate - a tiny orange creature - after they have mated. why? yet another mystery of nature."

i was wondering what would have happened if this was the case with the human beings...the FIR lodgings would have been reduced by 70%, talks of 'Female Chauvinism' would be rife and males would be sexually objectified..but i guess the industry which wouldn't be affected much is our Bollywood...there would be redefining of roles (genders) in films, item songs would still be there, casting couch would still be present and bombshells would still be predominant; the only difference being...they'll be orange in color..:)

On my trip back from Jaiselmer to Jodhpur, for a video shoot, we visited a small school of a scattered village with very few huts here and there. The arrival of our jeep itself marked the rush of school kids towards us and then in a jiffy we were surrounded by innocent nestlings dressed shabbily in unwashed clothes with flowing nose. Behind the dusty faces, a second look on them, could narrate the story of their lives. They greeted us with a noisy "Gori didi" and asked surprisingly for things like shampoo, pen etc. insted of money or water or food..Looking at them it was surprising to accept their demands. I guess as many foreigners visit these places, they distribute such expensive gifts, so maybe these kiddies are used to it. On further prodding we came to know that these kids have the will to study but the lack of facilities is marring their dreams like anything.

The experience was momentous but rare. After all, it's not everyday that you feel so special.

I journeyed through the cascades
To reach a certain goal
But the goal was just the beginning
I donned another role

It seemed like ever-changing
My new, refined self
Quite soon I did realise
That life's a journey itself

living with illusions..

Strange is the world of illusions
The real dreams so unreal
The known facts so unknown
A private conversation with the surreal

To take you away from the reality
Is the promise of the delusion
As long as you swear to hold hands with it
And embrace your seclusion


You think the moon is yours
It looks only at you
You think you are being watched
By someone who’s loving you


As if you are the only one in the universe
To have been granted the wish
So what if it’s only an illusion
It redeems you from the anguish