Wednesday, October 15, 2008

I remember the days when Sonia n I as kids used to await dusshera holidays with a lot of enthusiasm..there was a defiant sense of victory that surged through our veins to see the huge effigy of Ravana being burnt to ashes with other two effigies of Meghanath and Kumbakarna being set aflame by the actor dressed as Rama, by shooting an arrow into Ravan's navel. It was so much fun! when we couldn’t see the Ravana in the crowd due to our short heights, our Chacha, whom we’re very fond of, used to help us climb any nearby ‘thela’ (handcart) so that we could see the huge idol with big moustaches stand with false pride at the centre of the ‘maidaan’ (ground), with his other two aides..sonia used to ask me with her innocent expressions, “didi Ram kab marega Ravana ko?” (when will Rama kill Ravan?)..

Then, there was just a na├»ve fear of whether Ram would be able to kill Ravan or not..though every grown-up knew that it’s just a celebration n it will happen the way it is supposed to be..but quite paradoxically, as we grew up, we realized that the fear has only grown..and mercilessly..

It has intruded on every individual’s life and taken the ugly face of terrorism time and again..just like the fierce Ravan reappears every year representing the evil, the innumerable Ravanas, roaming around the streets, hiding behind the camouflage of being a common man, waiting for the massacre with their life-hungry eyes and ogling at the unseen havoc they want to target..their living takes to death and they die taking lives..what do they get?..probably ‘nirvana’ or whatever they’re being taught in the so-called secular schools where probably one of the teachings asks to take pride in being a terrorist..

Public gatherings today are best avoided as they are the hot-spots for terror-strikes..dushhera today is just another cyclic-celebration of the Hindu today’s terror-tainted times, the festival seems to have lost its relevance somewhere down the alley of time..this also reminds me of Neeraj Pandey’s thriller ‘A Wednesday’ I saw a few days back..where a common man challenges the law and targets the jailed ‘jihadis' and the pulverised Mumbai cops who seem to be on bended knees when it comes to an effective counter-terror policy..i think this is what every common man will take to, once the tolerance level exceeds its decent limits..
Even if we dare to step out of our homes to satisfy our desire of being a part of this festive season and see how the city is performing the ritual, all we could see is the faces with tense expressions and celebrations wrought with anxiety…hats off to those spirited ones who without caring a damn, zestfully make the effigies and welcome the festivals in an aboriginal style..
Two of my very dear friends, celebrated this dusshera somewhat like this to compensate for their absence in India..:)

Monday, October 13, 2008

As we proceed with enough razzmatazz about the generation Y, few of the self-imposed perceptions of the Indian society remain unchanged..Yesterday mom was just telling me to clean my room..quite casually she said “humare ghar ka kaam kar le phir toh tere sasural chali jayegi kuch dino main..” n she just laughed it off…I just said “haan mom, ye aapka ghar, wo sasural, mera toh koi ghar hi nahi hai na?”..going by those grave expressions on my face, mom took a break from her dusting regime, came close to me and fondly stroke my hair, and said “arre waise bhi toh betiyan parayi hoti hai, isme nai baat kya hai?” she walked away...the scenes which I used to enjoy in ekta kapoor’s serial were happening live in front of me, in my own was very strange…sach hai…it’s a male dominated society after all! Still.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Shades of grey…

I thought of introducing these shades a few months back on my blog’s first anniversary in May, but was waiting for just the right time. With the wonderful turn of events, I am thrilled up to my rolling eyeballs to happily introduce you to these mesmerizing shades…The shades of grey…and what do they represent? Well, to me they are tranquility and mental peace, like the beautiful night that follows when the setting sun bids adieu in a million hues and the waters of the lakes glisten in is when the full moon hangs bright and round and your eyes hold a distant gaze of dreams and hope in ceremonial dignity..Life is still a whirlpool of sorts but with a different mix of colors..

Sunday, August 3, 2008

On this Friendship day....

i finally bid goodbye to Mumbai…I never liked the city..i hated the humidity, the crowd, the incessant chasing of dreams by thirsty souls…quite paradoxically, this place has taken a lot out of me but has yet given me so much..there is a certain bond that I developed with this place in just a few months. I feel desolated to leave it..i left my friends and family behind in Indore (especially my mom..i have never stayed away from her for so long..) to make it big in Bombay..but I am not going empty handed..i succeeded in making even a bigger bond of friendship nevertheless, with some amazing people has come a full circle for me…:)

Divya, earlier a FOAF, now, an extremely good friend of mine, has been an inspiration..her talent of dealing with people and the power of convincing others is worth watching..i somehow have a lot of ego hassles which come in my way of handling individuals..good I didn’t become a Human Resource Manager or something…big beal! Anyways, I’ll miss her a lot and i’ll miss her scolding while stopping me from buying nonsense stuff for myself ..juz like my mom.. she knows better what looks good on rarely happens that I strike a chord with someone in such a short time…with all the potential to become a good director, I wish her all d luck in life..

Anant sir…ahem…my senior in EMRC and now a director and finally a friend.. Short-tempered..(I am scared of him on the sets as he’s totally a different person there)…but I’ll miss him for he’s always been very caring towards me..gave me work wen I was searching for some…I gave many auditions, but did not get any response..chote-level per hi sahi, but he kick-started my career..i’ll always be thankful to him for that and who knows maybe if I become a big star tomorrow, then maybe I can consider thanking him in one of my Oscar acceptance speeches!..:)..:)..i’ll also miss his cute habit of miss pronouncing certain words like calling one of the assistants “Santose” (in stead of “Santosh”)..n shouting his name like that without realizing it while walking across the sets..

i'll miss these guys..

that apart, I promise to myself that this is not the end of the road..i am not leaving my career and no way I am giving up..this beginning will continue without a break..:)

Friday, July 18, 2008

Wednesday, July 16, 2008


The strongest of trances
Is the fascination of your charms,
The only fantasy I have is
Finding recluse in your arms

The fear of loneliness
Has faded in obscurity
The joy of togetherness
Is drizzling with purity

Now you n I have come so close
What heart can feel
Through eyes it flows

If destiny has chosen
To bring us together
The destiny will see us
Being so forever

Let’s hear what they say,
The beatings of our heart;
They say we’ll be this way
Till death do us apart..

Watch out for our new show 'Gorgeous You', on Care World TV..

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Life’s gooood!!

Leaving the note of Love
The wind wheezed in my ears
It asked to spread the magical fervor
Wiping out the tears

I now follow the message of love
The wisdom left for me
The sweet nothings the sky whispers
To the wind wild and free..

(sorry for not posting anything for a long time...i have been going a li'l busy...shoots, scripts, shopping, PhD and a lot of daydreaming..:) is treating me well n i am liking the journey so far..)

Wednesday, June 11, 2008


I think I am coming very close to knowing ‘the secret’..knowing it in the real’s one thing to read or just listen to it and admire…but it’s another to actually follow it..

If you know what ‘the secret’ is, (if u’ve gone through the link, u wld knw what I am talking about) there are chances that you too are in the same turmoil of uneasy thoughts as many others, where you sometimes just can’t help but attract negative emotions to yourself, only to later regret it..but I guess it is a matter of practice..because if u know what exactly the secret is, you will also try to know how to follow it.. i am following it and I think it works!

Just to give u an example, sometime back, one of dad’s colleagues (Geeta Mohan mam, who now is a very special person of my life and a lady I admire a lot), whom I went to meet for my research work, gave me the CD of the film…after a few days of seeing the film, when I went back to return the CD to her, I just happened to tell her that I am going to my hometown for sometime to celebrate my birthday n my mom n dad’s marriage anniversary too. Hearing that she said I’ll give you something as a gift for ur birthday. She got up and promptly took out a small murti of Gautam Buddha and handed it to me…she said this will bring you a lot of luck and happiness..the moment I took that murti in my hands, I felt very happy and greatful..i don’t know, it just appeared to me that this small murti is actually going to bring a lot of luck and happiness to my life…maybe it was because of the impact of the film I saw just a few days back…n I thought maybe this feeling will disappear after sometime…but it didn’t…i kept feeling happy for just about everything i came across and in just two days an extremely beautiful thing happened to my life…actually, LIFE itself happened to me!!..i met the man of my life…:)

But it’s even more fulfilling if u make it an on-going process…u’ve to keep practicing it to paint a colorful rainbow on this empty canvas of life..

Yes, the Law of Attraction works..only if u know how to make it work!!!

(Special thanks to my sis who keeps me awakened throughout this journey of following the law)

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

A feminine look to a life gives you a clear picture – a happy family, a beautiful partner and a well-settled life.. a masculine look stresses on the ‘MORE’ syndrome - nothing is enough.. life’s always tough that ways…

but when it comes to decision making, I go with the feminine approach towards life..maybe because that comes naturally to me..not that girls are not tougher than the boys..but they are more emotionally charged…maybe that is why when it came to me for making a life changing decision, I took the plunge with an effervescent ‘yes’, when asked to make a choice between a beautiful family life and a career life studded with professional barnburners…
I trust God and I know He’s given much more than what I had asked for..I am happy with my decision; on cloud nine..:)

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Encore for AN..

dude!! this is amazing!! our docu, AN (Adrashya Nari) bags another Best documentary award in Filmsaaz '08!!

check out the link -

Wednesday, March 19, 2008



When i told some people that i am planning to direct a film, they laughed it out saying "you're so shy and direction needs a certain smartness that you lack. you better give up the idea. it's not your cup of tea." But there were some real gems around who supported my idea and promised to join me in my project and my maiden effort of making an independent documentary as a director. with their blessings and support i addressed the root cause of so many major problems that India is facing today - lack of women education and empowerment. the true story of the girls of a village in Madhya Pradesh inspired me to work on the concept and after a heart-wrenching experience of a 5 day stay with the girls, i came to know many shocking incidences that still pervades the country - female foeticide being the most terrible one. i NEVER EVER imagined even in my dreams that just a few kilometers away from my home, where i live a life like a princess, there could be a place where girls are toyed with and are sexually objectified and some are even not allowed to step into this beautiful world!! we have read this, heard about it, but i witnessed it through the innocent and tell tale eyes of the girls of Narlay..

And the fact that how beautifully the efforts of one man is stopping these cruelties gradually, is a subject of not just admiration but a subject which stirs the soul to wake up to this reality and contribute.

i salute the efforts of the man and my team, ESPECIALLY MY LIL SWEETHEART, MY SIS, for her support and for getting me all the applause and a tear-jerking response of an emotionally charged audience on some scenes in the film, when it was shown in the 16isto9 International Film Festival. the festival saw the entries from the countries like US, UK, Cannada, China, Egypt and Sweden. From India there were entries from around 150 colleges. My film titled "Adrashya Nari" (Invisible Woman), got Silver for the Best Documentary (non-fiction) film. It was a star-studded event and the evening of the final day saw the presence of superstar Amir Khan giving away the awards. My dad received the award on my behalf as i could not attend the function due to my mom's ill-health. But the pleasure to have my dad receive the award was more than what i could have got if i was there on the stage.

It was an evening i'll always remember..:)

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

I was completely bogged out yesterday evening..God knows why. Biorhythms maybe. i wanted to fight with someone and because my sis was not around i decided to fight it out with my room. i emptied my shelves, my closet, wardrobe evrything..n decided to transform a fit of rage into a fit of this is what my room looked like.

and this is what i came up with....a wall-hanging for a friend..thanks to the 'Best out of Waste' competitions in the primary school i used to participate in..:)

Princess Fiona for u...:)

Friday, February 29, 2008

Alive n kickin’!!!!

Life is full of adventure. And this reminds me of the Smirnoff ad – “life is calling, where are you?” Like watching a bird spread its wings in the morning mist is an adventure, watching a small puppy getting wet in the rain and then picking it up and hiding it in your jacket is an adventure, going on a shopping spree and then getting panic attacks on seeing the bill is an adventure; life is a bundle of excitement!! You need not be a travel freak or an ‘MTV Roadies’ participant to be labeled ‘adventurous’. If you are alive, you are adventurous.

OK, Let me guess, what was the biggest adventure of my life..Yes. It was undoubtedly the time when my sister was born. Well actually, it was the beginning of a full-fledged adventure in its own right. And it was multi-faceted. It had love, drama, comedy and lots of action (sisterly dhiishhuum-dhiiisshhumm) in it. Haha.

But there were many more incidences when I felt life. To state a few, I’ll start with the one I experienced during my Pachmarhi trip. The place I along with 200 other girls went to was called “Reechgarh’ and was quite scary. We had to pass through a small but long & narrow passage through the caves and it was uncomfortable getting into it. We had to squat our ways through it and that without making any noise as we were told that there are wild animals around and we could awake the sleeping giants! There was total darkness out there and we could hardly breathe as there were too many people in the passage. Even after coming out we could see the huge caves threatening us to watch our ways. But I captured the entire experience in my cam and I enjoy watching the video whenever I feel life is becoming gives me a hint of much more excitement waiting to be discovered.

Another incidence was when I along with 5 of my friends planned a trip to a nearby water-park a couple of years ago. We were all charged up and obviously excited. I took my car and loved the empty road with just our car shining bright in the daylight. But on reaching the park we came to know it was under renovation and will be closed for a about month. None of us was in a mood to return home. So we decided to go to another place which was just a few kilometers (that is what we thought) ahead of the park. We went to the place, laughed, pottered around, got into the groove and totally forgot to look at our watches. When we did, we realized we were in a big trouble aur aaj humari waat lagne wali hai ghar per. We rushed to our car and zoomed away. But bhagwan ko kuch aur hi manzoor tha. Our car broke down in the midway. Maine bahut bola ki chal dhanno ye teri basanti ki ijjat ka sawal hai per dhanno nahi mani. It was getting dark outside and there was a weird and scary silence we could feel around us. Not a soul around! The road was barren. The other five girls got out of the car and pushed it. I was on the wheel. We tried calling home but there was no network. Bullshit!! We were perturbed. But we kept pushing the car. And in the middle of everything we heard a disturbing noise as of howling of a wild wolf. As if my car got scared or what but in a fit of amazement it started. The other five girls got inside impulsively and we heaved sigh of relief. We were back to home finally and never mind the repercussions I had to face; that’s a long story.

So now whenever you feel low just think of the moments when you were in the middle of some adventure. It could be small or big but it gives you a taste of life and about the fact that we are living in a God’s world, full of mystery.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Wo subah kabhi to aayegi…..

Wo subah kabhi to aayegi…..

I dedicate the song to the lawmakers, lawbreakers and the beneficiaries of the entire tamasha. The tamasha of instant justice, mob lynch or vigilantism. Wouldn’t it be right for these people to take a break from their respective professions and go for a walk? They aren’t doing their work anyways. Instead they are more concerned about filling each others’ shoes. People of all professions – teachers, doctors, students - are turning into lawmakers..they make their own laws and implement them in their unique ways; the original lawmakers are sleeping and thanks to the delayed justice, the people who should actually be sleeping, leaving everything in the hands of law and trusting it, are losing their sleep. Hail democracy!

Consider this –

Two people quarreled over using a cellphone a couple of days back, and in a fit of rage, the one named Ravi, stabbed the other several times. Locals rushed the injured person to the hospital, but he succumbed to his injuries midway. Ravi was caught and assaulted by his neighbours before being handed over to the policemen, who took him to hospital for treatment. Later a crowd reached the hospital, roped his neck and dragged him out to the road where he was beaten black and blue. Even as a handcuffed Ravi twisted and turned in vain and writhed in pain, the cops, batons in their hand and rifles on their shoulders, remained mute spectators.

(Source: Sunday Times, 24th Feb’08)

Instead of hitting the accused, wouldn’t it be a better idea to strip such policemen, for whom their work is everything but worship, off their uniforms in public? Because of such people, the entire police force is being accused of inactivity.

God forbid, if this tamasha continues, we wouldn’t need to buy tickets for some Ram Gopal Verma flick, as then we could see the real life villains getting roughed up by our local heroes right in front of our homes, until we find out that the person being beaten to death is our own daughter or brother and then we would find no law to ask for help. We will have to find our own ways of getting justice by the mob, of the mob and for the mob.

Arre wo subaha kabhi to aayegi jab ham hamare hi desh ka tamasha banne se rok sakenge.

Sunday, February 24, 2008


Being a housewife is super-challenging. It’s not only about cooking and looking after the (super) kids but it’s a total house management, a job without a salary. Hats off to my mom who makes things look so simple. She’s not keeping well since last many days. And so I am kinda managing the house; something she’s been doing since last 29 years. But I guess what keeps her ticking is the love we kids we give to her and in return what we get is some thing beyond boundaries. Something that only motherhood can do to you. Just a smile on her kids’ faces makes her day and a tear in their eye gives her sleepless nights. Even on the hospital bed, my mom was more worried about whether I am taking my meals on time or not. That’s what being a mother is all about I guess. I’ll understand it better when I become one.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

made a greeting card and a colorful letter for onuf my frenz...hope she likes it..:)

Thursday, January 17, 2008

while flipping through the pages of a magzine i came across a very interesting fact. here's quoting it for u...

"i almost walked into a web, in the centre of which sat the Black Widow, actually our Indian version of it, the Gaint Wood spider that kills its tiny mate, after they have mated, interesting that, the male, nothing more than a disposable sperm. The Gaint Wood spider is a radical feministt, (Sneha says - so untrue!It's juz vice versa.yeah, u got it - the writer was a male.),the proverbial Black Widow devouring up its mate - a tiny orange creature - after they have mated. why? yet another mystery of nature."

i was wondering what would have happened if this was the case with the human beings...the FIR lodgings would have been reduced by 70%, talks of 'Female Chauvinism' would be rife and males would be sexually objectified..but i guess the industry which wouldn't be affected much is our Bollywood...there would be redefining of roles (genders) in films, item songs would still be there, casting couch would still be present and bombshells would still be predominant; the only difference being...they'll be orange in color..:)

San Diego Conference

Friday, January 11, 2008

On my trip back from Jaiselmer to Jodhpur, for a video shoot, we visited a small school of a scattered village with very few huts here and there. The arrival of our jeep itself marked the rush of school kids towards us and then in a jiffy we were surrounded by innocent nestlings dressed shabbily in unwashed clothes with flowing nose. Behind the dusty faces, a second look on them, could narrate the story of their lives. They greeted us with a noisy "Gori didi" and asked surprisingly for things like shampoo, pen etc. insted of money or water or food..Looking at them it was surprising to accept their demands. I guess as many foreigners visit these places, they distribute such expensive gifts, so maybe these kiddies are used to it. On further prodding we came to know that these kids have the will to study but the lack of facilities is marring their dreams like anything.

The experience was momentous but rare. After all, it's not everyday that you feel so special.

I journeyed through the cascades
To reach a certain goal
But the goal was just the beginning
I donned another role

It seemed like ever-changing
My new, refined self
Quite soon I did realise
That life's a journey itself

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

A dream husband

Sounds good? But a dream is a dream and especially this one, which seems self-contradictory to claim its presence in reality. This discussion reminds me of amol palekar’s paheli, which addresses a very deep-rooted expectation of every woman in the world – the love and attention of her husband, no matter how old she grows. Where in the film, the reality and the dream have been juxtaposed leaving it for the destiny to make a choice between the two, the real life leaves less scope for any such choices.

When in LA, I saw an old couple walk hand in hand, the husband whispering some words in his partner’s ears and the old lady blushing constantly. I don’t know what it takes to keep candle of love alive in the hearts after many years of being together, but I guess it’s on the part of the lady to completely understand the fact that a fictive reality it just a fictive reality and no body including herself is perfect. A husband who constantly thinks of her and loves every moment of being with her is something which cannot happen. It’s only when we, the ladies, understand that this fairytale is just that – a fairytale, that we would be able to make the relationships survive the test of time. Yes, we need to grow up!