Thursday, July 19, 2007

AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A MOUSTACHE...



Let me reintroduce myself to those who are caught in the metrosexuality syndrome. I am, literally, an unshaved growth of hair on the upper lip. But that is such an apt definition of my predicament! Well, men have known me since they have wanted to take pride in the fact that they are men. I have crowned them by placing myself gracefully, in different designs (to suit their convenience and visual aspect) on their upper lip. I used to be the symbol of virility and male dominance in the society. But alas! Times have changed. And so have men. Just as I naturally try to spread my wings, exfoliate and look forward to live a prosperous life, I am damned.

I formed the basis of recognition in rank and regimen among the army men. And why not, they were the ones who were aware of my mighty impact on the fellow beings. And that is why they paralleled my style and variation with their hierarchy of ranks. The higher the rank the thicker and bushier I grew. At the highest ranks, I was even allowed to mate with my soul mate, the beard.


My ‘stached’ look stimulated a surge of adrenalin amongst the fairer sex and turned their cheeks to pink. My old buddies, the top hat and the monocle accompanied me in movies and melodramas and when women sighed mistily upon seeing us on the silver screen, we were all smiles.

I journeyed along the path of manhood and allowed myself to act guinea pig to my enemy, the scissors. But still I obliged those who still had faith in me. I merrily surrendered to the changing patterns of my being and adapted to the same destination.

Please! Oh please! Allow me to fall into a reverie of the years long past…………

I was made narrower; areas past the corner of the mouth were shaved. My long points curved steeply upward. Then I was called Dalí, after my master Salvador Dalí.

To give me a dramatic look, my masters fashioned me into a Fu Manchu moustache. I bungee jumped from my original comfortable destination and remained in this awkward position until it gave me severe dizzying headaches.

But I got used to it, as I got a minor concession of holding the edge of the chin. But I didn’t fail to serve my masters who got personality enhancement and got promoted from simple cowboys to reckless, impulsive and dangerous ones. They fondly called me ‘Horseshoe’.

I have been through many ups and downs, again, literally. In this roller-coaster of style and fashion I got sick and tired. I grew thinner and thinner. But to see my masters enjoying my dismal existence too, gave me a sigh of relief. They Mouthbrow-ed me.




And duh! How can I forget my mascot! The one who took me around the world. I became synonymous with aggression and dictatorship!


But in the same guise I entertained millions as I Charlie-Chaplin-ed my way into the world of silent comedy. This time I was tagged ‘Toothbrish’.

Hey! Thanks friend for listening to my past and lending a shoulder of sympathy too. But it’ll be better if I get back my throne, the upper lip. I want to live again before I die and become extinct. I am a nature's bounty after all!
Every Lover's




9 comments:

Nia said...

Oh well the journey of a moustache seems much much longer than the moustache itself! :-p

Like the idea of personifying it to narrate the story..good info and creative presentation!

sneha said...

he he...thx sweety!

sneha said...

ok...before some men start booing this writing...let me hastily add that some men do luk good without a mo. but only SOME of 'em...

sAg_NiK said...

Arre mera MOUSTACHE bhai, dekh le... tere liya bhi koi itna dilse likte hai!!
uhh....really ur gr8 yaar, is duniya mein log dusroki baat nahi sochti hai...AUR tumne hamara musu-musu bhai k liya ek full post dedicate kar diya!!!

Kudos u Snehaaaa,kudossssssss =))

somu said...

well well... after Krishna ,now moustache!..a complete U-turn haan!
magar daag dane hogi tumhari imagination ko..... really amazing!

thunder491 said...

I think I should also think of adding them to my picture as actually I do not like to carry them with me,particularly long moustache

Dara said...

Hi Sneha,nice blog... must say u've a good sense of humour!

Who's this other gal with u in all pics ??
But then,ur a pretty gal, no doubt!ONLY lil' extra-slim... dieting,haan??

thunder491 said...

I want to add one more comment about moustache without which this blog will not be complete.During my childhood,a priest used to visit our house every poornima for puja and he used to give lot of religeous teaching to us.On one such visit he defined moustache as-
"Jinkee mukhapar laaj hai unake mukhapar Muchh,Jinke mukhpar laaj nahee vah muchh nahee vah Puchh"
Hence to keep moustache like King,one must have his vision and morality as a good human being.

Abhinav said...

nice way of putting the facts from all over the world. even in hindu religion, mustache is the representation of 'pourush' one possess. and thats why most of the hindu gods, without mustache, are portrayed as being 'effeminate' in popular images. and unfortunately we see mush only on baddies like ravana, duryodhan and kansa..