Monday, May 14, 2007

Dulha hum dhoond layenge!!

"Aapki badi beti ke liye ek bahut acchha rishta aaya hai. Ladka hazaron main ek hai!" Sounds very filmy, I know..but these are the dialogues of my real-life film..the writers-directors being my relatives. Just notice the change in the dialogues as the film proceeds – When I was 16 – the protagonist (me of course) used to say – papa, he’s my friend. His dad is an IAS officer. Just look at him once! Dad – who cares? Just stay away from him. And at 24, there is a role reversal –

Dad – “Beta, this guy is my friend’s son. He’s an IAS officer. Just look at him once!

Zamana badal gaya hai. Says who? Society is still suffering from male dominance. If you are a girl who is of a ‘marriageable’ age, you know what I am talking about. Independence brings many perks, but it can’t change the rules for girls. If we try to bring about the change in the society, which is very crucial as we all know, we are looked at with suspicion, especially if we are a girl. A woman still has to leave her parents’ house and go to live with a stranger. She is still expected to know everything right from preparing good food to being a working woman, taking care of both the fronts with ease and without making any fuss about it. I know there are live-in relationships and now even the guys leave their house and work somewhere else, away from their parents, but still they’ll be men. The ‘supposed- to -be -more –privileged’ ones. What? Don’t agree? Just pick up the Sunday times, and have a look at the matrimonial section – look for the BRIDES WANTED column – it reads something like this –
“Wanted a tall, fair, slim, beautiful, educated and working bride, who’s a good mix of tradition and modernity.” Nothing wrong with this. People have their own expectations. But what really gets annoying is when you enquire about the guy who put this advert; he turns out to be a middle-class, greedy, dark, short and dumb-witted creep! When the girl objects to this, they say “why do you expect so much? You have to compromise somewhere. The guy has a good family. He’s well-earning.” Yeah, right. So what if he forgets to greet your parents when he meets them, doesn’t flush the toilet after using it, laughs like a monster and looks like a shit!”

just compare the above mentioned ad with the GROOMS WANTED column – just to quote one example, which reads like this-

“wanted a well-educated, well-earning, cultured guy with a good family background. LOOKS DON’T MATTER.” Not that the girl does not want a good-looking or a tall, dark, handsome guy. It’s because the girls are expected to compromise. They are a matter of worry as soon as they reach a certain age. And if they don’t marry at that age, they are considered to have some major flaws. And it’s very humiliating for their parents. I am not saying it. This is what I have seen myself. No matter how fast our country is running towards modernity, certain aspects of history, good or bad, do run along!


Unknown said...

I think that though most of the time this is happening,but then world is full of good people as well.We need to explore them.
One Sunday I was listening to ETV Marathi programme at 11.00 am which was specially on this issue,where in Astologer Mr Sharad Upadhye has given many hints for selecting life partners and advised that every girl should match to her expectations before selecting life partner,so that there may not be any mismatch in the expectations of both the partners.I agree with your feelings.But then brighter side of the issue should also to be looked into.

Unknown said...

Absolutely agree. Its funny that I recently wrote about a similar note!

:) Lets share the burden and promise to make it lighter!

Peace and All Smiles!!! :)

Sonia said...

the aim of every fair and lovely ad is to encourage the idea of being "gori"...the stupid pre-requisite for an ideal indian it's okay if the guy is tall-DARK and handsome...but it's not okay if the girl is tall-DARK-yet beautiful???

so behno, agar koi ladka apko shaadi k naam par phokat attitude dikhaye, to kripaya mujhe sampark karein...ham milkar uski waat lagayenge!